Adventures in Breastfeeding: Weaning (The Why)

I started to think about weaning the babe way back at the end of October. I knew that I would be going back to work in January and wanted to give her a nice and easy transition into the world of bottle feeding and babysitters. My biggest worry was that I would miss the snuggle time with my little munchkin. (And the fact that I had absolutely no clue how to bottle feed - sanitizing, warming, transporting - it was all Greek to me).

(and gratuitous photos of the babe with her Aunt Nikki who visited us from Oz over the holidays)

Little did I know that trying to introduce formula to Violet was like opening Pandora's box. A few ounces of formula mixed with her rice cereal launched us into new world of projectile vomit, pediatricians, and procedures. Oh how many times I've cursed myself for being too lazy to pump an ounce or two of breast milk!

Although I know in my head that none of this is my fault, I felt pretty guilty about the whole thing for a long time, but I've come to terms with it and am actually glad that it all happened before I returned to the working world. In reality, although the symptoms weren't as awful before I introduced the formula, she was always sick - continually losing weight until she was bordering on failure to thrive, being impossible to put to sleep, and having a lot of GI issues and skin rashes were all issues we've dealt with since she was born. We just didn't put it all together and realize what the cause was until the more extreme reactions happened.

It's taken a lot of time and hard work to figure out what was going on get to where we are today - time for me to research Violet's symptoms, time for us to argue with the pediatricians, time for us to visit specialists and go through blood draws, skin prick testing, ultrasounds, CAT scans, x-rays, barium testing, endoscopies, and sigmoidoscopies. And now finally time to working on weaning.

I didn't take the decision to wean lightly, that's for sure. I agonized over the possibilities - should I attempt to pump while teaching six classes and nurse in the evening, pump and bottle feed exclusively, or just wean entirely and attempt formula? I had actually decided to try pumping at work and nursing in the evening, when it happened - I got the plague.

I couldn't keep anything down and slept 24/7. I had to stay away from Violet so that I didn't infect her, so that meant pumping. And throughout the whole ordeal we made a very important discovery - my supply had dramatically decreased and V was not getting enough to eat. She had been extra fussy lately and had been waking every couple of hours at night, but we assumed it had something to do with teething or her illness. Apparently we were wrong and the poor thing was just starving. She'd suck down a bottle and be completely unsatisfied, but I had nothing left to give her (I'd had to pour our my stash of pumped milk when we discovered that she was allergic to EVERYTHING). So we began to supplement with formula (Similac Alimentum - poor girl, the stuff tastes absolutely awful) and just hoped that she could tolerate it. She did and slept through the night for one of the first times in a LONG time. And that's when we made the decision to wean.

I'm very pro-breastfeeding - I think if you're able it's one of the best things you can do for your child. BUT I also think in some situations formula is the right choice. For us this just felt right. With me going back to work, the baby's weight dropping, and my supply decreasing due to the elimination diet I was on for her allergies, it just made sense to wean.

We're very happy with our choice - we have a happier and healthier baby, a more energetic and well-fed mama, and a dad who has a new way to bond with his little girl. I'm glad that we nursed and proud that we made it to almost eight months, but I'd be lying if I didn't add that I am also a bit relieved that it is over. I'm happy that our baby is happy and healthy, and  in the end isn't that what really matters?